Editor’s note: In this edition of Family Giving News, we’re delighted to help celebrate the holiday season with this excerpt of a fun new guide for family holiday giving from long-time friend and family philanthropy leader Lisa Parker. Want to hear more from Lisa? Make plans to join us for our February 9th Teleconference on “Creating Your Giving Identity,” featuring Lisa and Lana Volfstun, executive director of the One Percent Foundation.
by Lisa Parker
Longing for a less harried, more joyful holiday? Author Bill McKibben limited his family’s holiday spending one year to $100. Their family’s quest for a more meaningful holiday is chronicled in his little gem of a book, The Hundred Dollar Holiday. The amount was arbitrary, but the idea was to spend minimally and connect maximally; “to honor each other, nature, and the spirit of the season.”
Making Memories
Bill’s idea is one we can all embrace – in theory. I discovered, as a working mom, that coming up with ways to “honor each other, nature, and the spirit of the season” was more challenging than I anticipated. I like to take the easy road and, truth be told, the easy road led straight to Target. Dish soap, toilet paper, an Easy Bake Oven, remote-control truck, stocking stuffers, and mouthwash, all in one shot! But darn it, I couldn’t get Bill’s book out of my mind.
The single best piece of advice I received as a young mom was that my job was to create memories for my children. Bill’s book reminded me that, unless we were very intentional about it, Target and keeping up with the proverbial “Joneses” were going to define our holidays for us. We needed to be more purposeful – more intentional – about our time and money, and spending them in ways that would enrich us, remind us of our bounty, and bring more joy to our family and communities.
First, I sat down with my family to define more specifically what we were all after. We asked ourselves:
- What are our favorite memories of holidays past?
- What would make this holiday special, if we did not get gifts?
- What holiday tradition do we hope our own children and grandchildren will remember with love, and continue with their own families?
Our answers fell into three buckets: Rituals and Traditions, Giving and Service, and Good Gifting. Our work over the past decade of collecting inspiring stories and ideas for these three has made the road to making memories much easier to travel. You’ll find her a sampling of a few of our favorites.
Rituals & Traditions
“Let parents bequeath to their children not riches, but the spirit of reverence.” – Plato
The Waterman Family, of St. Charles, Missouri, gets it right by creating a tradition unique to their family to share with friends – one rooted in intimacy with each other. Inspired by Eve Bunting’s book, Night Tree, they gather friends and family for an annual trek into the woods to decorate a tree for the animals and birds. The festivities kick off at home, with the preparation of natural goodies: pinecones rolled in peanut butter and birdseed, popcorn and cranberry garlands, along with orange and apple slices, to suspend from the tree. Armed with hot chocolate, the group, aged 5 to 75, bundles up and heads out into the night. The evening winds down when they get back home, with holiday cookies and caroling by the fire.
When my son was seven, he came up with a simple but treasured tradition for our family. Our first night of winter vacation is spent entirely by firelight. Candles flicker throughout the house, and we spend the evening by the fire, reading our time-worn holiday favorites. My personal favorite, Christmas Day in the Morning, tells of a child’s gratitude for his father’s hard work and sacrifice, and the simple but unexpected gesture the boy made to show his profound love for his dad.
Stories
Rituals and traditions give us the opportunity to connect, by sharing our values, and the most enduring of these is the telling of stories. Our stories connect us and serve as the vehicle for passing values on to the next generation. There are stories in our elders’ memories that may not have been told, or that have not been preserved. We honor our elders, and those stories, by preserving them. Use the holidays to record or videotape your family’s favorite holiday stories. It can be as simple as asking, “What is the greatest gift you have ever received? What is the greatest gift you have given?” All ages can participate in this conversation. Or, a young person can interview an older family member. Check out interviews done between friends, co-workers, and family members at www.storycorps.org for inspiration. Be sure to print out their “great questions list” to get you started.
Download your free copy of Lisa Parker’s The Hip Family’s Guide to Happier Holidays
About the Author
Lisa Parker brings 25 years of experience in philanthropy and nonprofit management to serve philanthropic families raising the next generation of savvy givers. For fourteen years she has been president and executive director of the Lawrence Welk Family Foundation, leading the Foundation’s initiative to seed the youth giving movement and creating youth philanthropy programs for the family’s fourth generation. She launched San Francisco Based Family Circle Advisors to help other families create meaningful giving experiences that engage and inspire each generation. Want to hear more from Lisa? Make plans to join us for our February 9th Teleconference on “Creating Your Giving Identity,” featuring Lisa and Lana Volfstun, executive director of the One Percent Foundation.
